spottheoddball

I can't believe that you're seriously gone. That there's isn't a single possibility of me bumping into you like I did last year. That the last face I'd see of you is in that box, that the last picture of how you used to look like is in a flowered frame. Singapore is so small, the likelihood of meeting anyone by chance is amazingly high, but not with you anymore. 

You were one of the first people I met before we even entered sports school. We talked so much when we were younger, like brothers & sisters. You gave me a ridiculous nickname "Banana Jie" cause of my yellow PL PE T-shirt. Then we drifted apart like people always do. But when we do meet, it's like its been the same all this while, you saying hi to me & giving me a hug. We'd do the usual small talk & catch up a little on each other. Somehow you'd manage to always bring a smile to my face. You seriously were an amazing person. Even though we've teased you, you never let it affect you and you just continued being who you are.

I never really knew how much you've actually made an impact on people till I went to your wake. I'm sad that you'd never get to say goodbye to all these people who loved you. I wondered what went through your mind in the last few minutes. 

I think I'm only coming to terms with you being gone right now.

RIP Dom. I hope that wherever you are right now, you're making it a better place just like you did right here for all of us.

Just because I kept mum, doesn't allow you to treat me like a punching bag or even to shift the blame on me. You're partly at fault too so why won't you admit it rather then being completely unreasonable. You two are husband & wife. Solve it between yourselves. I am not the 3rd party who solves your issues.

I hate how I'm the only person who you can target at in the house now. It's lonesome, annoying, frustrating, suffocating and just sad.
I seriously need an outlet of escape.

So many things I wish I was.
Prettier, smarter, funnier; a better writer, musician, friend; to be more exciting, outgoing.. oh the list goes on.
I feel so bland.

I do not have a liking for dolls. But this editorial is pretty awesome.

Wasn't exactly the finest 10hrs christmas morning I had. Been starting to have little feelings of nostalgia and lonliness seeing how some family traditions would change starting this coming year. Opening presents with the family at 12mn after christmas eve service. With my older sister getting married and moving out next year, the house is going to feel so empty. Especially since my younger sister stays in hostel. No one to come to home and pounce on.. to tell rubbish stories. To complain about our parents. Parents.. now focusing all their attention at you, having you as their only other source to vent their frustrations at.. I don't know if I'm actually looking forward to next year.

Sometimes I really dont understand my younger sister. Some days I just really want to shout, scream, strangle her to get things into that stubborn head of hers. I hate it how she does things like she's not responsible to anyone and I end up being the victim.

I hate how we were late for church, because my sister took 30mins to wake up and all she could say while in bed was "chill la.". I hate how my parents fight almost every sunday morning because dad wants to be early, and expects us to know it. Then there's mum who doesnt seem to understand time. So mum expects my older sister to conveniently pick us up. I hate how I wasn't able to sit in the sanctuary listening to the full ochestra play. Yes, I know Christmas isn't simply about the whole grandeur of carols and music that makes me feel good. But sitting in the dunman hall, watching the whole thing through a projector just didn't make me feel any less upset.

Maybe all these things are just what makes me want to live without fighting. I avoid it. At all costs. Writing this just makes me even more upset so maybe I should just stop here. There's just some things you love and hate about family.

On to some happy thoughts,
I had some awesome christmas presents, awesome meet ups, awesome extended family feast.

some days, I truely feel lonely.

oh you insecurities. When you're surround by such beautiful people, you just look back at yourself and go blah....

this song is so beautiful. I'm supposed to learn to paly this on the guitar for a friends wedding so I tried to source for guitar covers and found this:



This is completely amazing and my fingers are way too noob to do this D: sigh.

omggggggg i am so hungry now D: can somebody make this for me pretty pleasseeeee.

Originally posted by spracker at Banana Chocolate Chip Cinnamon Rolls

motto of my life.